Almost everyone feels uncomfortable meeting new people. Only a few feel completely confident and relaxed, while the rest have to make a lot of effort to maintain a relaxed look and inner peace. Many feel uncomfortable and awkward when meeting and communicating with new people.
Today, we’ll figure out where this worry comes from, how to deal with it, and why modern online communication services are among the best tools for gaining self-confidence.
Why do we worry so much?
The reasons for anxiety and nervousness can be very diverse. But more often they’re down to a common fear of being dumped or misunderstood. And when we really like a person, this fear only intensifies, and we become more nervous. You’ve probably noticed that with those you really like, you sometimes behave stupidly, your words get mixed up, and you don’t even know where to put your hands. Sounds familiar, right?
Another common reason for anxiety can be different social status from the other person. Or not knowing their status. Unfortunately, we live in a world where there’s a substantial division between rich and poor, successful and unsuccessful. In actuality, this difference may not affect your ability to build a happy future relationship, but certain psychological barriers arise from it anyway. Hence the awkwardness, shyness, and self-doubt.
Also, don’t forget about simple lack of communication. If someone doesn’t communicate much with others in their life, it will be more difficult for them to find a common language with new people. And they will worry more.
Online communication: a cure for anxiety or a simple dummy?
In theory, communication via the Internet is easier and more comfortable. For many people, this rule holds true — they feel more open and relaxed, and it’s easier to find a common language with strangers and get closer to them. But still, there are many for whom even communication on the Internet becomes a real challenge and causes, at the very least, some discomfort. What are these people to do, and how do modern online platforms help fight insecurity?
Hinge — meditation before acquaintance
Recently, dating site Hinge teamed up with online meditation service Headspace. Now, before meeting a new person, you can launch a meditation video on the Hinge website or application, relax, concentrate, overcome your anxiety, and then move on to communication. The Headspace service is a viral meditation platform, and its effectiveness has already been confirmed by thousands of Internet users. You should try it, not least because it’s free!
Bumble — a place where a man can feel more confident
The main principle of Bumble is that girls make the first step in dating. A man can’t make contact first or impose himself in any way on other users. This is a plus because it overcomes the worry of making the first moves. Any man a stranger has messages must understand that he has already managed to interest the girl at least a little. Understanding this adds self-confidence and helps to overcome embarrassment. This is a well-known observation: the initiator of an encounter is always more worried.
XO — dating in the game
Remember how you often met other children in the playground as a child? It was always easy and informal because you played, interacted, and gradually got to know each other better.
The XO developers wondered why not use this idea in adult dating. They created their own application in which users play simple but exciting online games, gradually getting to know each other better. You think less about how you look and what you say and just concentrate on the game. As a result, conversation becomes more relaxed, emotional, and sincere, not to mention interesting.
Small talk: improving your communication skills with strangers
Small talk is short and usually unobtrusive conversation. Engaging in such conversations helps people relax, feel more confident in society, and find it much easier to find a common language with new people.
What to talk about and with whom? There are lots of options!
- A short conversation with the barista who makes your morning coffee.
- A short conversation with a shop assistant about an interesting product.
- Small talk with someone running on a nearby treadmill in the gym, and more.
You can improve your short conversation skills almost anywhere and at almost any time. Don’t take them as a step towards a strong future friendship or even a relationship. Take it easy, and you’ll be surprised how much easier it will be for you to connect with new people.
Here you probably have a logical objection: “Quarantine and the pandemic.” Yes, in current world realities, it is quite problematic to practice your short conversation skills offline. But there’s a solution to this problem, and it is quite simple — random video chat.
Video chat with strangers: small talk and interesting people
Random video chat is quite rightly the best place for short conversations about almost anything. Such a site or application selects chart partners for you completely randomly, with whom you can talk about music, movies, literature, your hobbies, your favorite computer games, or whatever you like. There are almost no restrictions, and if you get bored with the conversation or the other person seems unpleasant, just make a single click, and a random video chat will pick up the next one for you. This is very convenient and opens up massive opportunities for dating.
There are dozens of random video chat sites out there that give a fine account of themselves. For example, in Chatrandom, you can talk not only one-on-one but also in a group chat based on your interests. And Chatrandom alternative, CooMeet, offers the perfect gender filter and only connects men with girls. In addition to classic random chat, Bazoocam can delight fans of video streams. Lovers of simplicity and minimalism will surely like Camsurf, while Chathub will help you find partners by gender and language. And Chatroulette is a proven classic video chat with strangers that has attracted thousands of audiences for over twelve years.
And lastly, some more tips
Being worried when communicating with strangers or barely known people is normal and natural. But you will still need to overcome it, so we want to give some more recommendations:
- Always remember the purpose of your conversation. This will help you stay on topic and not get lost on a tangent.
- Listen to the other person, don’t be afraid to seem a little taciturn, and don’t seek to fill every silence.
- Try to find common interests quickly and focus the conversation on them.
- Don’t be afraid to say that you don’t know much about a topic. Otherwise, you’ll feel very uncomfortable when you don’t understand what you claim to be an expert in.
- Keep in mind that the other person is just as worried as you are. Perhaps even more so.
The anxiety won’t go away with a snap of your fingers. But the more you get acquainted and communicate, the more different people you meet, the easier it is to find a common language with them. You could even think of it as a sport. The more you improve, the better results you achieve. It’s that simple!
